Multi-racial relationships


by Afrilia Closet

Hi guys! We're back with another blog post! I know we haven't been blogging for a long period of time and we apologize for that D: We're busy with orders, revamping our site and etc :) 

However, i would like to share with you guys something important and something we should all learn to embrace and accept. I personally find it adorable and somewhat heartwarming. That something is MULTI-RACIAL RELATIONSHIPS. 

DISCLAIMER: Some of you might recognize the above couple from twitter or Instagram and do note that we are NOT writing this to ride the trending wave that seems to be happening there. We can side Dee Kosh if we want that. It has been written a few days ago and was in the drafts but we didn't know if we should post it as we thought that it might not be a good time considering what happened a few days ago with the two. Turns out everything's fine which means posting this is fine too :D 

Whenever i'm in a car, a mall, a park, scrolling through instagram or plainly walking along a street and i see interracial couples holding hands or kissing, something inside me feels good. Sounds creepy and disturbing like, i don't go around stalking interracial couples or watch them kiss from behind a bush or anything HAHA but what i mean is whenever i HAPPEN to see em, it makes me feel good inside and i don't know why?

Maybe it's how they made it work, you know what i mean? Different races have different beliefs and traditions and Singapore as you all know, is a 'rojak' country with many races and religion. We have Malays who are Muslim and hence, can't eat pork nor drink. The Chinese - who burn Joss paper every month or so for their ancestors and loved ones who have passed. The Indians - who don't eat beef as they believe that cows are their gods. Then we have the rest of the races that make up Singapore - Americans, Filipinos, Australians etc who have their own different practices. 

So it warms my heart when i see that two people of different races can come together and form a relationship. It shows that they understand and accept one another's religion and beliefs which is quite rare as i know there are many out there who can't stand to be in a relationship with someone of a different race. Mainly due to the fact that they are very firm in their beliefs and thus refuse to accept or even acknowledge another's - which for me personally is seen as narrow-mindedness but let's move on hehe. 

When they are together it also means that there must be some form of a compromise between the two. Either to refrain from eating pork, not drinking or simply acknowledging the fact that they might have to convert to another religion if they want to marry the other. Whether they really decide to do it in the end is another matter. 

I want to add that it's really difficult for one to even consider converting to another religion. Imagine following a religion for close to 20 or more years and believing its the one 'true' religion and all of a sudden, having to turn back on your entire beliefs and jump ship to a totally different one. I have an immense respect for those who are willing to consider converting as i know that it's not easy. Even if i am someone who does not believe in my religion, i would honestly still find it challenging as i would be living a whole different lifestyle and there would be things i must or can't do which i won't be comfortable with. 

One such couple i would like to mention is the relationship between Ridhwan Azman and Nicole Choo! Some of you might know or have seen them either on Youtube or other forms of media. I know there are many out there who criticize and mock their relationship but AfriliaCloset supports them a hundred percent and i admire their relationship mainly because of 3 things:

Firstly, she accepts his religion and him, hers. She's Chinese and he's Malay if it's not obvious hahaha. They compromise and work things out to ensure that they have a good relationship, even including their parents in the relationship. You can see from their media that both him and her are already close to each other's parents - singing karaoke with them, eating over at their place etc. It's nice for them as it is for me when i see it on their media. It shows that their parents accept em and support their child's decision. Unlike some other people who are insignificant but yet feel like they have the rights to discipline and educate others. It's great that they are able to work things out and are open-minded enough to accept their differences and be together.  

Secondly, Nicole Choo not only accepts his culture but actually loves to experience them for herself. I don't know much but from what i can see in her posts, she truly does enjoy the culture and tries it for herself. She eats traditional Malay food with him and his family, sings Malay songs with him, celebrates Hari Raya with his family and oh yea, FASTS FOR A MONTH?! Or at least she tried to do it fully. For us Muslims who fast, we know how difficult it is, no matter how many times we have done it. Yes, it does get easier but the challenge is still there and considering that she is someone of another race, it was basically her first time fasting. For her to even want to carry it out for a whole month is really astounding for me. I admire her bravery and the sincerity she has when carrying out these acts as nobody made her want to do it, she sincerely wanted to try. (That's more than what i can say for some of us, including me). It shows that she is willing to learn about another race and is curious enough to want to try it out herself. 

You can checkout the video here where you can see us too HEHE.  > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGzJlgIz-KA

Lastly and the most major point, they do not let the words of others affect their thinking. Despite soooo many others hating on their relationship and criticizing them 24/7, they try their best to ignore it and continue to just have fun and make videos. I mean, obviously they get affected right, we're all human but i would say they handle it better than a lot of us can. Accepting and making up a song showcasing all the hate they received, not many of us will do that. We get affected if we know of even one person talking bad about us while these people receive hate every single day - from people with massive followings with an army of followers who idolize them and absorb and agree to whatever they say. Even if they were to split up, it would be for their OWN reasons WITHIN the relationship and not due to anyone else's opinion. This is important as they teach us that nobody else's opinions matter apart from our own and our families. ALL others are insignificant. It's a lesson for all of us who face criticism from whoever because of our relationship or choice of partner - not only for those who are in multi-racial relationships. You know your relationship best so you shouldn't let the words of others affect your judgement or play a part in any decision you make. Those who do not know the full story like to make assumptions based only on what they hear or see and this automatically makes it irrelevant. Like a blind guy who says an elephant looks like a string because he touched only the tail. It's wrong. (http://www.jainworld.com/literature/story25.htm)

This might be out of topic but in light of the recent drama and every other day, i would like to say that i think they do not deserve so much hate from others. Sure, they could have exposed Dee Kosh in a better way instead of bringing up teenage pregnancy but nobody in their right mind would want to mock teenage pregnancy online? Especially teenage influencers like themselves. They merely wanted to expose him for what he is and did a mistake in how they carried it out. We all make mistakes anyways. The hate that they receive is also really uncalled for. His body, his looks, her looks, her makeup. There is no need for those and i don't see a problem in their relationship. He brings out the best in her and she brings out the best in him, i see nothing wrong with that. Yes they create drama online when they fight but let's face it, all couples fight and most of us as teenagers like to post it online. That's basically it. Even if we don't say anything we would at least retweet something related. Everything just seems more serious and huge cose they have many followers. Other than that, i see them as no different than any other relationship having their ups and downs. I don't see them bashing anyone apart from when they are defending themselves of course. Looks to me like they just mind their own business and i have spoken to them personally too, they seem genuinely nice. Instead of bashing them, why don't we try learning from them :) 

JUST MY OPINION AH. Support it or don't, up to you. #Avoidingpotentialhate 

 

I guess the whole point of me writing this post is that i feel that many of us can learn from these cross-cultural relationships. No, i'm not asking you to find someone of a different race and get into a relationship with them now duh. However, what we can do is learn to accept another race and their beliefs - maybe even ask them about it? I feel that many problems occur when we fail to realize the purpose of these acts and why different races do what they do. We are one country and though we say the national anthem and recite 'regardless of race, language or religion' blabla and all that let's face it. There is a lot of discriminating going on beneath the surface - as seen from all the Twitter drama about the Sari naming that one time, the guy who pulled that girl's hijab, the videoing and 'Islamophobia'...the list goes on.

 

I feel that if each of us were to take in some time to try and understand one another's culture, to finally understand the reasons why they carry out their acts of faith, there would be less hate and discrimination.

I'm not saying that by doing this we would love each other and people will be hugging everywhere and there will be zero hate etc No. What i do know is that it will definitely do some good for us to learn about one another. Not just for the country but for our friends, family and ourselves too.

State in the comments your thoughts on this matter!! 

Knowledge is power! (eee lame k bye. Spread love not war! :D ) 

 




Afrilia Closet
Afrilia Closet

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1 Response

Daniel Kumar
Daniel Kumar

July 22, 2016

I am Indian & my wife is Chinese and I’m 13 years older than her. It’s amazing that even though we have different cultures, we can relate to each other and there’s not much difference in the way we see things and approach them. We both are Christians even though both our family members are not. Both families have accepted each other and we get along well with our families. We still do get long “stares” from aunties and uncles in public but we’ve overcome it over the years since we’ve been dating and gotten married! At the end of the day, regardless of race and culture, love is the all binding force that brings joy and happiness in our relationship. Therefore I’m one all out for inter racial relationships and marriages and trust me, it’s awesome!!!

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